I can be a bit of an overachiever. It use to not be such a big deal to me. I use to achieve very little because I was afraid of trying and failing. I figured I would always just continue to do the things I already knew and be really good at those things. A few years ago, I got tired of being afraid and started becoming more adventurous in the new things I have tried. I like doing new things now, even if it is scary, I push through that and continue on.

Sometimes being an overachiever is a great distraction. I mean, I can distract you with what I am capable of doing. But, it also leaves a lack of humility. I know in my heart that the purpose of all my doing and achieving is because I am responding to a grace given to me freely, but I don’t always point to my God when I do accomplish things. Or, that it was truly God working in and through me that even made the accomplishment possible. I just like to point to the accomplishment, look, do you see? It is like sleight of hand for me, I add the bells and whistles around the good so you can’t see the 1000 mistakes and failures that I have made to accomplish that 1 good thing.

You see, accomplishment and lack of humility, I use them to hide my insecurities. I use them so you don’t see that I may fail you, I may fall short of your expectation of me. I don’t have this thing called life all figured out and while I want to lead and teach and love on you, I am afraid I will ultimately let you down.

So, I have shown you my hand, laid my cards on the table. I am insecure, I live with a constant fear that I will never truly be good enough. But, you see, I have a Savior, my God, who came and died because I was separated from Him. He lives in me, he is transforming me. I am beginning to believe the things He says about me. So for every 1 accomplishment, Praise God He stepped in and made it possible. And for every 1000 failures, Praise God He stepped in and made it possible to be forgiven.

Do you ever find yourself pointing to your achievements hoping that no one will notice what you are failing at?

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