A broken heart.

I can count on one hand the significant moments in my adult life where I have felt broken hearted. All of them are moments and situations where I wonder if i could have done something more. Did I love enough? Say the right things? Answer the texts and phone calls fast enough? Did I follow through? Did I keep all of my promises?

Selfish, I know. To make it about me when it’s about them and their struggle. It’s like I’m being disappointed that I’m not God and couldn’t save them.

There’s something about being a Christian that sometimes gives us the authority to think we have all of the answers. If our loved ones would just do what we do, just listen to what we say then they would have it all together…… But that is so backwards. God doesn’t want them to be us, he wants us to be the ambassadors of Christ. We’re suppose to point them to life, not to doing and being the right thing.

I know, we have the best of intentions with all of our good advice and 12 step programs. People need less of our lists of goodness and more of our intercession. We need to spend more time trusting and praying to a faithful God that has never broken a promise than carry the burdens of friends and family ourselves.

Broke hearted, yes. Learning to trust that God is big enough to capture them, where ever they are, and bring them home. My calling isn’t to save them, talk them into being “good” but to point to the one who was gracious enough to save a sinner like me.

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