Posts tagged ‘insecurity’

Rip It Off

I am a fan of the “rip it off” method for removing Band-Aids. I prefer the quick intense pain over the small hair pulling of the more patient Band-Aid removal. Actually, I think in all of life, I prefer the quick intense pain over the long drawn out type.

Have you ever had to go through something that just seemed to take forever?  I mean really, wondered why it couldn’t be going so much quicker.

A few months ago I started the book, So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore. I’ll admit it, I loved the idea that she announced from the beginning, “freedom from insecurity” and healing, real healing available. It has been a blessing to my soul to know that insecurity isn’t a way of life but truly something that can be overcome.

Apparently, the healing from insecurity doesn’t include the “rip it off” method. It takes time, and a lot of small steps. Just when I think I have a grasp of this, there turns out to be another Band-Aid under the one I just removed.  

I am healing. Not yet completely healed but in the process. And yes, there is pain involved, I won’t lie. But, I want the healing. I am ready to be in this process for as long as it may take.  There will be a slight scar left behind as a reminder of this process.  I wanted to “rip it off,” but instead I am learning to appreciate the time it takes to truly overcome. Time builds the character to never go back to where I once was.

Ever wish you could use the “rip it off” Band-Aid method when it comes to healing?

~Angela

Originally posted on the Canvas Church  blog Canvas Rhapsody

1:1000

I can be a bit of an overachiever. It use to not be such a big deal to me. I use to achieve very little because I was afraid of trying and failing. I figured I would always just continue to do the things I already knew and be really good at those things. A few years ago, I got tired of being afraid and started becoming more adventurous in the new things I have tried. I like doing new things now, even if it is scary, I push through that and continue on.

Sometimes being an overachiever is a great distraction. I mean, I can distract you with what I am capable of doing. But, it also leaves a lack of humility. I know in my heart that the purpose of all my doing and achieving is because I am responding to a grace given to me freely, but I don’t always point to my God when I do accomplish things. Or, that it was truly God working in and through me that even made the accomplishment possible. I just like to point to the accomplishment, look, do you see? It is like sleight of hand for me, I add the bells and whistles around the good so you can’t see the 1000 mistakes and failures that I have made to accomplish that 1 good thing.

You see, accomplishment and lack of humility, I use them to hide my insecurities. I use them so you don’t see that I may fail you, I may fall short of your expectation of me. I don’t have this thing called life all figured out and while I want to lead and teach and love on you, I am afraid I will ultimately let you down.

So, I have shown you my hand, laid my cards on the table. I am insecure, I live with a constant fear that I will never truly be good enough. But, you see, I have a Savior, my God, who came and died because I was separated from Him. He lives in me, he is transforming me. I am beginning to believe the things He says about me. So for every 1 accomplishment, Praise God He stepped in and made it possible. And for every 1000 failures, Praise God He stepped in and made it possible to be forgiven.

Do you ever find yourself pointing to your achievements hoping that no one will notice what you are failing at?

%d bloggers like this: