I’m going to lie to you today. Not because I want to hurt you but because I don’t want to burden you and I don’t really want to talk about it.

If you see me and ask “How are you?”, and I will tell you “I’m fine, I’m good”. I might give you a hug and tell you it is good to see you, and I will be telling the truth. I will ask how you are and hope you would tell me the truth.

But, I am not fine today. My heart aches and I feel like I can’t help and I can’t fix it and it weighs heavy on me. I am going to lose someone I love very much to cancer. I know, I shouldn’t grieve her before she is gone and I need to trust God’s will for her. I do believe God is perfect in all things but it doesn’t make it hurt any less today. And I know you think it is crazy when I say I don’t want to burden you, because I think the same thing when you want to keep things inside. Sometimes, the lie is just easier than the truth.

Please, forgive me for the lie I will tell today, I am not fine.
How are you, today? Really?